A New Direction.

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Chosen by Him - Wrestling with the Question of "Why Me?"

Have you ever struggled with the question of “Why me?” Why me, God? Why me? Why did you choose me? Why did you place the call that you did on my heart?

I struggle with this question often. I am constantly reminded of my nothingness and sinfulness and yet, in spite of my perceived insignificance, God chose me.

He chose me.

There are definitely other people out there who may be better suited for the call of vocational ministry than myself, but I must rest in the fact that He chose me.

I think, more than not, I get scared of messing up and misportraying God to the people He has called me to minister to. At some point, this self doubt definitely becomes idolatry because I am holding on to me rather than trusting God. Far be it from me to know the grand scheme of things over Him who holds that same scheme of things in the palm of His hand.

Last night I was praying, and, as I often do, asked God the simple question of “Why me?” I know that He has chosen me, but when Satan reminds me of the sin and guilt in my life, it becomes so easy for me to doubt God and His plan. As I finished praying, I opened my Bible to my favorite book, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. This book is so encouraging and uplifting and every time I read it, God seems to reveal something different to me. As I read through the epistle, I just stopped when I came to Ephesians 3:7-13. In it, Paul says this:

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory.

Even Paul struggled with doubting God’s calling. As he said, “Though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

I think it’s easy for me to think of Paul as just this huge “giant” of the Faith (after all, he did write the majority of the New Testament), and even he struggled with the question of “Why me?” His answer is God’s answer to me. God chose me and set me apart for this purpose. It was not by my choice, but rather by His will. As Mark Driscoll often says, Paul’s story is the greatest story of the doctrine of Election.

Just as God chose Paul, He has also chosen me. I rest in that.

The Potter and the Clay: The Heart of Idolatry.

Idol.

It’s a dirty word.

Webster defines an idol as “a representation or symbol of an object of worship; a false god.”

God created man to worship Him and Him alone. An idol is anything that is not God that we have elevated to the place that should only be reserved for Him.

Idolatry is a very messy thing. It’s a slippery slope that we all have happily sledded down.

We must recognize the idols in out lives and put them to death. This is something we cannot do on our own, and so we MUST come before God’s throne and beg His help. Our recognition of the our false gods is huge. It is the key to us eliminating our idol worship. When we realize that we have elevated creation above the Creator, we have no choice but to fall to our knees and beg forgiveness. When Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3, God cursed them and their offspring (us).

“To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.” And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you;
 in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
 for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

– Genesis 3:16-19

Sin caused a separation from God. In Eden, man shared harmony and unity with God. Sin was not an issue, thus idolatry was unheard of. Because of sin we are still separated from God and more often than not, give into our passions and desires and the things of this world over the God who created us and created them. Doesn’t this seem backwards? We lie to ourselves all the time, telling ourselves that we know what is best. The part that gets me is the fact that when I lie to myself and tell myself to trust an aspect of creation over God, I know what I am doing is wrong. The Holy Spirit convicts me and I still think I know better.

Who am I to know better than God?

If you are seriously thinking about that question, then a reality check is definitely in order.

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

- Isaiah 64:8

Does clay question why the potter crafted it into a bowl? Does it wish it were a mug? Why, then, do we constantly think we know better than God and question Him? A bowl doesn’t worship a mug so why do we?

God is holy and righteous. He is the only God. We were crafted by Him and for His purposes. Idolatry is silly, yet very serious. We must never make light of it.

The clay knows its’ relationship to the potter.

We need to know our relationship to our Creator.