Chosen by Him - Wrestling with the Question of "Why Me?"

Have you ever struggled with the question of “Why me?” Why me, God? Why me? Why did you choose me? Why did you place the call that you did on my heart?

I struggle with this question often. I am constantly reminded of my nothingness and sinfulness and yet, in spite of my perceived insignificance, God chose me.

He chose me.

There are definitely other people out there who may be better suited for the call of vocational ministry than myself, but I must rest in the fact that He chose me.

I think, more than not, I get scared of messing up and misportraying God to the people He has called me to minister to. At some point, this self doubt definitely becomes idolatry because I am holding on to me rather than trusting God. Far be it from me to know the grand scheme of things over Him who holds that same scheme of things in the palm of His hand.

Last night I was praying, and, as I often do, asked God the simple question of “Why me?” I know that He has chosen me, but when Satan reminds me of the sin and guilt in my life, it becomes so easy for me to doubt God and His plan. As I finished praying, I opened my Bible to my favorite book, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. This book is so encouraging and uplifting and every time I read it, God seems to reveal something different to me. As I read through the epistle, I just stopped when I came to Ephesians 3:7-13. In it, Paul says this:

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. So I ask you not to lose heart over what I am suffering for you, which is your glory.

Even Paul struggled with doubting God’s calling. As he said, “Though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

I think it’s easy for me to think of Paul as just this huge “giant” of the Faith (after all, he did write the majority of the New Testament), and even he struggled with the question of “Why me?” His answer is God’s answer to me. God chose me and set me apart for this purpose. It was not by my choice, but rather by His will. As Mark Driscoll often says, Paul’s story is the greatest story of the doctrine of Election.

Just as God chose Paul, He has also chosen me. I rest in that.

The Potter and the Clay: The Heart of Idolatry.

Idol.

It’s a dirty word.

Webster defines an idol as “a representation or symbol of an object of worship; a false god.”

God created man to worship Him and Him alone. An idol is anything that is not God that we have elevated to the place that should only be reserved for Him.

Idolatry is a very messy thing. It’s a slippery slope that we all have happily sledded down.

We must recognize the idols in out lives and put them to death. This is something we cannot do on our own, and so we MUST come before God’s throne and beg His help. Our recognition of the our false gods is huge. It is the key to us eliminating our idol worship. When we realize that we have elevated creation above the Creator, we have no choice but to fall to our knees and beg forgiveness. When Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3, God cursed them and their offspring (us).

“To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.” And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you;
 in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
 for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return.”

– Genesis 3:16-19

Sin caused a separation from God. In Eden, man shared harmony and unity with God. Sin was not an issue, thus idolatry was unheard of. Because of sin we are still separated from God and more often than not, give into our passions and desires and the things of this world over the God who created us and created them. Doesn’t this seem backwards? We lie to ourselves all the time, telling ourselves that we know what is best. The part that gets me is the fact that when I lie to myself and tell myself to trust an aspect of creation over God, I know what I am doing is wrong. The Holy Spirit convicts me and I still think I know better.

Who am I to know better than God?

If you are seriously thinking about that question, then a reality check is definitely in order.

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

- Isaiah 64:8

Does clay question why the potter crafted it into a bowl? Does it wish it were a mug? Why, then, do we constantly think we know better than God and question Him? A bowl doesn’t worship a mug so why do we?

God is holy and righteous. He is the only God. We were crafted by Him and for His purposes. Idolatry is silly, yet very serious. We must never make light of it.

The clay knows its’ relationship to the potter.

We need to know our relationship to our Creator.

A Word from Augustine.

"We stand in awe of the ocean, the thunderstorm, the sunset, the mountains, but we pass by a human being without notice even though the person is God's most magnificent creation." - Augustine

Isn't this so true? We stand in awe of everything that God has created (and rightly so), but when it comes to people we are less than enthused. What is it about people that causes us to lose interest? Genesis 1:26-27 says, "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." So people are made in the image of God and we don't even think to marvel at how wonderfully God created us? Something just doesn't add up. We look at the ocean and the sunset and the Grand Canyon, and the Great Barrier Reef with a sense of awe and wonder and yet people, who were given dominion over the ENTIRE earth, are just whatever. Has it always been this way? Will it always be this way? What keeps us from truly appreciating God's creation? God made each one of us in His image. If this doesn't radically alter the way we view one another, I don't know what will. Perhaps we use the phrase too loosely or maybe we've become desensitized to it.

STOP.

LISTEN.

THINK.

You are made in the image of God. I am made in the image of God. We are the pinnacle of God's creation. Let us represent God for who He is. Let us truly love one another. I fully believe that if we truly love God we will ardently love our brothers and sisters. James 3:8 says, "...but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord the Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." It is impossible to love God and not others.

Everyone has been made in the image of God. We were beautifully and wonderfully made. Let's worship God for who He is and for making us the way we are.

Eternity.

Eternity is such a hard concept for me to grasp. Honestly, the idea of eternity kind of freaks me out. I know that it is going to be amazing because it is what God has ordained, but in my finitude, I only know things to have beginnings and endings. Nothing on Earth, nothing that is finite, lasts forever. This is all I know and God’s promise of eternity promises to shatter all my notions of what life is actually like. In my finitude, David’s rhetoric in Psalm 145 is somewhat of a foreign concept for me to attain. It is when I think about this that I remember that when David wrote this Psalm, he himself was a man just like me. He probably wrestled with this topic as I do, but He realized that the only prudent thing for someone who loves God is to praise and bless Him without ceasing. God created everything. Our logical response to God and His love is adoration and praise.

My Personal Creed on the Doctrine of God.

I believe:

There is one God (Deut 4:35,39; Isa 45:5; James 2:19) manifest in three persons (Gen 1:26; Isa 6:8; Matt 3:16-17, 28:19): the Father (Luke 15:11-32; Rom 8:15; James 1:17), the Son (Isa 9:6; John 5:18; Rom 8:17), and the Spirit (Matt 3:16-17; John 15:26; Rom 8:16; Eph 4:4-6). All three persons are equally divine (John 10:30; Acts 5:3-4) yet have distinct roles (Matt 3:8-12; John 3:15-17, 6:38-40; Acts 2:1-36).

God has always existed (Gen 1:1; Ex 3:13-16; John 8:56-58; Heb 11:6). He did not create Himself nor was He created by anything else. He is sovereign over everything (Ex 4:21; Deut 10:22; Ps 47:1-4; Matt 6:30; Acts 17:26; James 4:13-15). He is the creator of all things (Gen 1:1-2:25; Psalm 104:24; Jer 27:5; Neh 9:6; Acts 14:15) and therefore is unique from everything He created. God created everything so that He would receive glory, honor, and praise (Isa 43:7; Neh 9:6; Rev 4:1-11).

God is love (Ps 98:3; 2 Chr 6:14; Hos 11:1; John 3:16-17; Rom 8:39; 1 John 3:1). Everything He does comes out of His love for His creation (Gen 1:31, 2:18, 6:1-9:19; Ps 139:17-20; John 1:1-18).

God does not exist within the confines of His creation. He is completely independent in His sufficiency (Deut 10:14; Ps 50:12-13, 121:4; 1 Cor 10:24) yet still relates to people in a personal way (Judg 2:18; 2 Sam 24:16; Ps 34:15; Luke 7:11-16). He is continually and constantly present in all of creation (Ps 139:7-12; Jer 23:23-24; Matt 18:20). He is all knowing (Num 24:16; Ps 147:4-5; 2 Pet 3:18). Has an interpersonal knowledge of His creation (Ps 139:1; Luke 12:7). God is completely powerful (Gen 1:1-2:25, 11:6-8; Matt 19:26; Acts 1:6-7). He is unchangeable (Ps 102:25-27; Mal 3:6).

God continually reveals himself through His creation (Ps 19:1-2; Rom 1:19-20; Col 1:15). God created all people with an inner knowledge of Himself. Many people deny this inner sense of God and in doing so suppress the truth (Rom 1:18, 3:3-4). God is truth (Isa 65:16; Eph 4:20-21).

Through God’s word and His creation we may and do understand limited aspects of who He is (Phil 3:10; 1 John 4:7-8), but we will never fully understand Him (Job 26:14; Ps 145:3, 147:5; Isa 55:8-9; Rom 11:33-34). Furthermore, we will never be able to fully comprehend any single attribute of Him. Every attribute of God is always completely true of Him (Mal 3:6). His being and His attributes are inseparable (Ex 34:5-7).

God is jealous for His honor and glory (Ex 20:5, 34:14; Ezekiel 20:44; Zech 14:9; Hebrews 1:1-14). He is glorified by the expression of His character in His people (Num 25:10-15).

God did not create anything that is evil (Gen 6:5). By His holy nature (Isa 6:3; 1 Peter 1:15-16) He must stand opposed to all that is evil (Gen 6:6; Ex 34:5-7; Job 34:10).

Our Inability to Comprehend God.

Have you ever thought about the uncertainties in life? I mean really. Have you REALLY pondered why there are so many things that are just beyond our grasp? It seems like every time we find an answer to something we are instantly faced with a million more questions.

How does this relate to our understanding of God?

What do we really know about Him?

I fully believe that we will never know all of who God is. I don't even think we'll ever be able to even fully understand any single aspect or attribute of God. For many such knowledge of our inability to know God can be quite disheartening. Think about it. We are called to seek after and learn about a God who we will never fully (or even mostly) understand. That's a lot to swallow. We learn with the expectation of mastering the subject of our learning. To most this would make the study of God a futile journey.

For some reason, I actually am motivated by the fact that I'll never be able to fully understand God. My inability to nail Him down drives me to study Him more. The more I learn about God the less I realize I know about Him. He constantly amazes me. His greatness is astounding. I can't help but worship Him when my eyes see a God who is far bigger than anything I could ever dream of. I am so small and He is so great.

I think we've forgotten God's holiness. By this I don't believe that we have completely discounted His holiness, but we emphasize His personal aspects so much that we bring Him down to our level, thus de-emphasizing His holiness. The more we learn of Him the greater He becomes in our eyes. We can never become discouraged in our study of God. Our inability to know Him should cause us to fall to our knees in worship.

Let's see God for who He is.

"Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable." - Psalm 145:3

Passions.

God has placed a passion in my heart to see His name and fame proclaimed with boldness and in truth. A few years ago I felt God’s call into vocational ministry. While unsure of His calling at the time, I decided to trust and obey Him. I could not be more excited for the plans He has for me. I could not be more humbled by this calling. There are so many times that I ask God why He chose me because surely He could have picked someone better, someone more faithful, someone more loving. Every time I think such things, He affirms to me that He is God and I am not. I am ever humbled by His call and ever grateful for His assurance.

I have a passion for seeing the Good News of Jesus spread all over the world. Nothing makes me happier than seeing believers living out their faith and convictions. In Matthew 5, Jesus calls us to be lights shining brightly for Him. If there is one thing that I get more excited about than anything else it is seeing people simply doing what God has called them to do. When we love God and shine for Him wherever He has us we will be beautiful reflections of Him. It is not the pastors and preachers that are the trustees of God’s word. Teachers, businessmen, musicians, athletes, scientists, homemakers, and artists are all preachers in their own right. The way they live their lives and the example they give preaches the Gospel for we are the image of the Invisible. It is to this end that I wish to devote my life to the Church, pouring into the lives of whomever God allows me because most life change actually happens outside of the sanctuary.

I want to experience God work in unimaginable ways. I want to see lives transformed by His love and mercy. I want to see a stagnant Church rise up and truly live out the Faith they currently claim. Imagine what would happen if we simply did what Christ called us to do. Let’s be the Church. Let’s proclaim Christ in everything and be unashamed of the grace that has saved us.

The Glory of God

After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.

And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!"

And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

"Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."

- Revelation 4 (ESV)

Isn't that a beautiful picture of God? I think we often focus too much on the nature of God as our father and friend and forget to realize His holiness. God is holy and incredible beyond comprehension and we need to stop, realize, and recognize His awesomeness. God is truly awesome. I am in awe of Him.

Straining forward to what lies ahead.

I absolutely love Paul’s letter to the Philippians. From the way he begins his letter, referring to himself as a servant of God (the only time he doesn’t refer to himself as an apostle), to the constant theme of humility, this letter is truly special. I spent last week at Hume Lake Christian Camps with the high school students from High Desert Church and in my own time with God, He really impressed upon me Philippians 3:4-14.

“If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:4-14

Paul had it all. He was the Jew of Jews. I mean, if you could be anyone or have any advantages, Paul was the guy you’d want to be. And yet he considers it all rubbish for the sake of Christ. Paul gets it! He really does! This part of the passage has always struck me in a mighty powerful way, but I’ve always read that and then glossed over the verses immediately following Paul’s powerful declaration. As of late, God has really stirred in me a passion for verses nine through fourteen.

I absolutely love how much Paul emphasizes that salvation is through faith alone. He goes on to say that “righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”

Woah.

Now that’s devotion. That is the type of faith I long for. I think it can be easy for us to read a passage like this and be quick to say that we want the same thing as Paul (after all, that’s what a good Christian3 should do, right?). I wholeheartedly believe that our response needs to be yes, that we do wish to be like Christ in every way, but the gravity of such a response is so amazing.

After seeing thirty-four students give their lives to Christ last week at Hume Lake and after seeing many more make new commitments to Him, Paul’s comment that each day he has to continually strive to live the life God has called him to is encouraging. Here we have Paul, who we often put up on a high pedestal (and rightly so) and he says that he has not achieved the devotion to Christ he wrote about. He says that it is something he strives after each and every day, to grow closer and closer to Christ so that he would be more and more like Him.

I feel like verse fourteen sums it up perfectly, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

May that forevermore be in my heart and on my lips.

Pouring water on an already doused flame.

How do we know for sure that our place in eternity is set? Can we be completely sure that even though we profess with our lips that Jesus is Lord that we are Heaven bound? We think we are. We say we are. But in reality, are we?

Matthew 7:21-23 has been on my heart as of late. “‘Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”

Wow.

Think about it. Jesus is saying that just because people say they believe in Him, that doesn’t mean that they are going to spend eternity with Him. Even though people have “[prophesied] in [His] name, and cast out demons in [His] name, and [done] many mighty works in [His] name,” He will reply, “I never knew you; depart from me you workers of lawlessness.”

Wow.

That’s tough stuff. It has me thinking about what it truly means to be a follower of Christ. This passage teaches us that empty words and deeds are just that: empty. They mean nothing. They are like pouring water on an already doused flame.

God did not become man and be teased, tormented, accused, spit on, whipped to the point of utter exhaustion and agony, have the sins of the world thrust upon his soul, and murdered via cruel capital punishment so that we could come to Him with empty praises and empty deeds.

He deserves so much more than that.

I think the majority of people who call themselves Christians want to be saved from the penalty of their sin rather than the sin itself.

I once heard Francis Chan say that he sometimes will sit in the foyer of his church and ask himself the question, “I wonder how many of these people will actually be in Heaven someday?” This isn’t a judgmental question. It is an important thing to ponder. If we really thought about it, how many people do you and I know that will actually be in Heaven when their time on Earth is over? It’s not my place to say who should or shouldn’t be in Heaven; that’s God’s job. It saddens my heart, however, to think that there are so many people who have yet to really realize just what Jesus has done for them and they are fully content with bringing Him empty words and deeds. Is it even possible that they think that what they bring to God is sufficient because that is all they know? There is an idea. After all, why would you offer empty praises if you knew, in fact that they were empty?

However, I believe that if someone’s approach to God is empty, even if they know no different, then (as hard as it is to say it) they were never a true believer to begin with.

In Romans 8:14-17, Paul says, “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba! Father! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”

If a person’s life doesn’t bear the fruit of a being radically changed by Jesus, then there is something terribly wrong. Paul is very clear that when we are redeemed from our enslavement to sin, the Spirit leads us. “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” Our words and our deeds should be like those of Christ not because something requires them to be, but because the Spirit is at work within us.

When I think of the fact that many people who say “Lord, Lord” will not enter Heaven, I often think and wonder if I am one of those individuals. I think that even in reading a passage, such as Matthew 7 and Romans 8, when your heart turns and you have to wrestle with God’s words, I think that that you are indeed a sincere believer in Christ. If reading His words bothers us, makes us think, and makes us want to grow, that is evidence of the Spirit at work within us.

Therefore, we must run to Him at all cost. We must throw aside that which does not matter and focus on the only thing that does. Like the man who sold all he had to buy a field with buried treasure, so too must we do the same for the sake of knowing Christ and truly being His child.